Dear Chuck and Dave,
You’re outnumbered. You may be playing for all the materialistic marbles, be damned any consequential eco-destruction, human suffering or poverty, but there are more of us than you. There are more smart, educated, engaged, progressive-thinking people on this planet. And we’re outsmarting you. We will dominate you.
I can’t fathom your financial and political motives other than in your life condition of obscene wealth (you’re worth an estimated $30 billion – no wait, a second went by – $31 billion) and subsequent power, you still harbor a great deal of personal insecurity and mortal fear. Contrary to what delusions you may have, life is not a game of Monopoly, which was the point of the game’s inception. I learned long ago not to waste too much time on the motives or psychology of those seemingly intent on doing harm, or are oblivious to doing harm, to me or others. But with that preface, I submit you may wish to model the world to your Machiavellian, Libertarian experiment, but the Zeitgeist isn’t coming along. We have evolved. As Willy Wonka said, “You lose. Good day, sir(s)!”
Now I know you’re not wasting your increasingly limited, precious time – or your little people’s time – reading this letter. And trust me, if it weren’t for the fact that you now have even more power to manipulate our democracy, following the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision, which you funded, I wouldn’t give you a moment’s thought. You are of no significance to me. You have no talent, bravery, gentleness, wisdom, intellect, genius or beauty to admire. The only reason you are in my purview is because I can’t ignore the damage you do on a daily basis to the planet, this country’s social security, global safety and the minds of the ignorant you have managed to ensnare in your philosophy (one-issue 99-percent folks like the evangelical Christians, misogynists, racists, bigots or your deeply loyal emasculated, inferior gun fetishists).
But since the infamous 1971 Powell memo, all you and your fellow right-wingers in this country have done is hand-select your corporate figureheads to play presidential (and congressional and gubernatorial) candidates to be your puppets. Thirty-four years ago, Ronald Reagan hypnotized enough of the 99-percent boobs to fall hook, line and sinker for his b-movie-grade corporate-shill performance:
Why would anyone want to be the leader of the free world and run on the claim government can do no good? Who, for the love of all goodness, would vote for that? Wake up, sheeple (talking to your ignorant followers and not you, Chuck and Dave)!
Now, in you defense, it isn’t only personal insecurity and mortal fear that make you do these things. You have daddy issues. Freddy got supremely pissed when that Commie Stalin stopped his pillaging of Russia’s oil fields and, with an “I’ll show you,” Richie Rich kind of bully pay back, founded the John Birch Society, which your legacy continues with your Cato Institute, Americans for (your own) Prosperity, climate change-denying Donors Trust and your new Koch-founded/funded Tea Party. Really Koch kids, how long do you hold a grudge? Even “W” thinks the grudge has gone on long enough.
So again, because I don’t even want to diagnose what appears to be your sociopathic mentality I ask rhetorically, what is wrong with you? If I had your money, I would realize it’s enough for me and my loved ones to more than chill and enjoy life. Other than enjoying life, traveling, hanging with friends and inventing fabulous new cocktails, I would stop trying to amass more and help my fellow humans. I would dedicate my wealth and influence to make sure everyone forever had food, shelter, health, education, a living wage and job security. I would see soldiers stationed in oil-rich countries got the hell out. I would promote clean, renewable energy. If for no other reason, I would do this to make up for all the poison I had made with dirty energy production and my unholy greed.
Contrary to what you or your loyal, greedy followers may think, most of us don’t want to be in your (based upon my Freudian-based analysis, what I presume are) teeny, tiny shoes. We know having all the marbles is not winning. See with or without you and your progeny, this planet is preparing to toss us off like a bad virus, thanks in no small part to your biggest industry, if we don’t get our collective junk together. We know we are in this together and are sick of folks like you doing us wrong.
So while you get your comfy eight hours of cushy sleep tonight, you might want to try it with one eye open because the sleeping giant is awake and it doesn’t like what you have done. Neither, boys, does Mother Nature. You didn’t spike enough of our mothers’ milk with your Kool Aid and you are vastly outnumbered. But I am just another one of the unwashed you ignore. Sweet dreams.