J: Today’s Deb-Blog Has Been Brought to You by the Letter D for Deciding and the Letter J for Juggling Pros and Cons, Untying Bonds, the Path I’m On
Many years ago, I read or heard this somewhere: “We are not doers, but we are deciders. Once our decision is clear, the doing becomes effortless.” I hold fast to this phrase and believe it to be true. I am well known for having commitment issues (which may be why I am often compared to the character “Sam” from “Sex In the City”). But the fact is I simply take my decisions seriously and like to consider the scenarios and weigh the possible consequences before making a big or even medium-sized decision. But once I decide, I am fully committed. Take my decision not to have kinds as an example, something I have mentioned more than once (https://debrastrege.com/2016/04/04/children-being-child-free-is-the-best-decision-of-my-life/). I have never looked back or second guessed that choice. Of course, I feel the same way about not buying a car on credit or taking up smoking.
Life is one big juggling act, if you ask me. I’ve been doing it my entire life. I really don’t need as much internal dialogue as I once did and I try to let my intuition work for me. I think I am being smart by avoiding unpleasant results by weighing the pros and cons. For example, if I buy something expensive and extravagant, will it be worth the sacrifices and loss of comforts elsewhere in my life? Or will I feel enslaved to a job I hate because I over-spent? If I let passion or desire lead to to a relationship I know to be a dead-end, will the fun be worth it? If I speed to make up time, will I get pulled over or have a wreck? Decisions have consequences. I often wonder when I watch those true crime shows about the person who kills her spouse usually for money. Really? Is all the work of planning the kill, disposing of the body, cleaning the evidence, securing an alibi really worth the money or life in prison? I know, a cop once told me they don’t catch the smart ones and I am certain there has to be something mentally wrong with anyone who kills but I can’t fathom how that logic works. If I am that miserable, I leave – long before I consider murder.
Perhaps because of my commitment issues, I find myself with more freedom that many and I’m unencumbered by some of those permanent sorts of decisions many regret, like an unfulfilling marriage, children (yup, some people regret having kids) or debt that enslaves one to a soul-sucking job. But there are always two sides to every coin. I may be unencumbered by a spouse or child but I’d better take care of my health, my house and my finances because it’s just me. It is as freeing to have the luxury to juggle new challenges as it is restricting to know I only have myself to rely upon.
I’ve dropped a few pins in the juggling game of life. But they didn’t make me stop or regret much. And who knows? Pins have been known to get picked up and returned to the circle game.