L: Today’s Deb-Blog Has Been Brought to You by the Letter D for Desire and the Letter L for Love Is Desire
Look I know outside of romance novels and high school hearts and minds, love and desire have a short shelf life. But I have never lost my desire for anyone I still loved. I have had desire leave or never fully form from the man I might have loved, however. And my desire for the man has faded when it really wasn’t love or when the love faded. So I contend that desire is indivisible from love.
I have always taken love seriously. I know how tender is the heart. Love is attached to several added features with me, including loyalty, honesty, passion, trust, commitment and faithfulness. It will be withdrawn if it is not returned in kind. That’s how it works.
Many enduring lessons came from Mom and Dad. They never had a cross word towards each other. Never. I got their same disposition, or a combination of it so, just like any clone, it isn’t quite as good as the originals. Like those two, I don’t have a temper but like Dad, I will snap if mistreated. I actually hope I am better at that than in the past.
Other lessons came from what i learned from past loves. And I hope I have learned to leave quickly; when it’s not right, cut and run! It never works to try to right when you’ve been wronged or you’ve been left to feel lesser than. Never. I hope I don’t behave foolishly should the time come with the next love. I will take my time to protect my heart. I cherish her more than ever. Because I am whole right now and am working to claim more of my authentic self, I won’t allow myself to falter.
No regrets. Perhaps I wish I had taken more risks with the ones I loved but who, themselves, were too cautious. Perhaps I wish I hadn’t started up with those I never really felt enough about. And I hope none of them ever know which they were. I’ll never tell.