Coming April 1: Musings Served Daily On a Bed of Fresh Snark

Republication.

(Note: This is not a food blog. if you think it is, I am way too snarky for you.)

Lacking appropriate time boundaries or any memory of the effort it took to write 26 blogs in 30 days, I have joined the April A to Z Blog Challenge for a second year. This means every day in April, excluding Sundays, I will post a blog entry on this site. I haven’t had a schedule with the time to post as much as I should or would like this past year. So I am hopeful committing to this challenge will help train me to be more diligent about it.

Trying to re-integrate into society is a serious endeavor. Some of you may know, I left paid work about a year after Dad moved in with me the very day my mother passed unexpectedly. We were together for about a decade. They still were the best days of my life. I built a second addition to the house (to build equity to offset not having income), with many projects still to complete. But the old role of non-profit management no longer fits my better skills and talents. Public speaking and, I hope in part, writing are my strengths. Last year afforded me with great exposure speaking to many thousands or people and hundreds of different audiences. So I know where I want to be but it’s like playing double Dutch jump rope; I have to be back in the game, developing myself and with an authentic presence in this moment. So I look forward to your feedback and making new connections via the blog a day.  

The new 26 blogs will post at 6 a.m. CDT Monday through Saturday beginning April 1, because I am half German and there WILL be structure in my routine! I’m calling it “Musings Served Daily On a Bed of Snark.”  So come, linger, browse, enjoy, comment.

Coming April 1: Musings Served Daily On a Bed of Fresh Snark

(Note: This is not a food blog. if you think it is, I am way too snarky for you.)

Lacking appropriate time boundaries or any memory of the effort it took to write 26 blogs in 30 days, I have joined the April A to Z Blog Challenge for a second year. This means every day in April, excluding Sundays, I will post a blog entry on this site. I haven’t had a schedule with the time to post as much as I should or would like this past year. So I am hopeful committing to this challenge will help train me to be more diligent about it.

Trying to re-integrate into society is a serious endeavor. Some of you may know, I left paid work about a year after Dad moved in with me the very day my mother passed unexpectedly. We were together for about a decade. They still were the best days of my life. I built a second addition to the house (to build equity to offset not having income), with many projects still to complete. But the old role of non-profit management no longer fits my better skills and talents. Public speaking and, I hope in part, writing are my strengths. Last year afforded me with great exposure speaking to many thousands or people and hundreds of different audiences. So I know where I want to be but it’s like playing double Dutch jump rope; I have to be back in the game, developing myself and with an authentic presence in this moment. So I look forward to your feedback and making new connections via the blog a day.  

The new 26 blogs will post at 6 a.m. CDT Monday through Saturday beginning April 1, because I am half German and there WILL be structure in my routine! I’m calling it “Musings Served Daily On a Bed of Snark.”  So come, linger, browse, enjoy, comment.

Enter Happy

With a preface of a brief apology for the delay in posting (to all two of you who follow my blog!), my absence was due to my focus on the speaking and improv side of my expression. I might be repeating myself from previous blogs but unless I share my internal and external evolution, I fear further writer’s block on other fascinating matters, like Donald Trump’s failed attempt at hair, people wrapping themselves in a seditious flag or same-sex marriage now being called marriage.

For just shy of ten years, I had the honor of being a stay-at-home daughter, moving Dad in with me the day Mom passed unexpectedly. Being a save-for-a-rainy-day kind of gal, I was able to leave work to be with him after about a year. Dad’s health was pretty good when he moved in but he was getting tired. His various medical conditions were not catastrophic but the cumulative nature of health issues with age eventually take their toll. I ache for him and Mom. I never wanted those days to end. If you ever have the fortune to do what I did, know this: the difference between raising a child and caring for someone one at the end of life is the world can’t see the grown, independent, upstanding, accomplished adult you helped make. It’s hard to walk from that role and not feel responsibility, as irrational as that is.

I never thought about what I would do after these glorious days. I was in the moment, happy and filled with joyful love. But I knew I’d been changed. My social and political convictions remained a passion and strengthened. I also reclaimed my intellect, something I had curtailed in jobs, relationships and routine social encounters. I lost a tolerance for foolishness, bullying and temper tantrums manifested by ego in the workplace that felt too trivial and droll for my personality, creativity – or life! Whether he knew it or not, Dad was teaching me this life lesson. I vowed I would not squander what Mom and Dad gave me in this life. But I did have to claim it.

I first began to see possibilities and find avenues to channel my energy, creativity, humor and communication abilities once I began to let myself be myself. It certainly isn’t the easiest route to remove the extraneous, refuse the comforts of old paths and stay true to honoring one’s uniqueness, but it is the only way to be of the greatest value to this world or know bliss. After all, what good are you doing anyone if you aren’t chiseling at the marble slab of life to uncover your imperfect masterpiece?

Frankly. I am still a bit shy saying it but I am drawn to public speaking and some audiences seem to like it. Same goes for improv work. It’s true about creativity that you only can please some of the people some of the time. And I have had plenty of experiences in certain venues where the audience made me think I was speaking an unfamiliar tongue, which could only explain their vacuous stares, unless it was thinly veiled, face-chewing  disgust, an accidental attendance or concealing trapped gas from a high-fiber lunch. Rather than owning defeat, I stoked the engine and pushed on to other venues until someone laughed, smiled or applauded. And they have. I expressed “the head and heart,” won some laughs and even found a few who like to read my written word. Finding these channels of expression feels like what I think is a life for stage and public speaking work feels, actually; sometimes you spark for others and sometimes you burn a bridge. Such is the metaphor of life, too, no matter the situation or circumstance. Now, about Donald Trump.

 

I’m Serious This Time!

Life doesn’t have a linear path for most of us. Perhaps those who have had glitches, hick-ups and disappointments, are the lucky ones. I am not sure I ever wanted a linear path, anyway. I’m like the Goldie Hawn character in “Best Friends,” whose character was reluctant to marry because, “You’re born, you get married and you die.” So if she never got married, she would never die. That’s not exactly my life’s philosophy, although I relate to the character not making traditional choices. That I would not change.

Had I made traditional choices of a husband and kids, I might not have been able to make the choice to move Dad in with me the day Mom passed unexpectedly. And that was my best choice in life so far. Dad was with me just shy of ten years. I left paid work and built a second addition on my house. I miss those days beyond words. But it changed me. I found my core, my passion and my voice during those days with Dad. I am bold, outspoken, entertaining and viscerally intolerant to bullshit. My time with Dad crystallized for me that no amount of money is worth spending time with mediocre, erratic, marginal, petty people at some soul-sucking nine-to-five job. Those dysfunctional folks  have all been wished into the corn field.

M&DSepiaSo I’m on my way. I have bliss, not every moment of every day but most moments of every day. I’m strong and centered. I am healthy. I am busy and productive. I still work on house projects (I am DIY wired with surround sound!), which is necessary and helps future profits for me. I am finding my voice. And twenty-four blogs in the past month has certainly strengthened my writing commitment! It also built a new habit so when I write one or two blogs a week, it will feel like a breeze. I am studying improv, which is delightful and terrifying. But it’s bringing me closer to my public and stage work. I am committed to this new venture and am using my written and spoken word in various venues. The new people in my life are lovely and generous and supportive. I am so very grateful to Mom and Dad for this life.

Now this new path isn’t easy to take. But the one less traveled is where I want to be. Joy and bliss can take you far!